Marriages

Signs of A Cheating Husband

One of the most common ways you can detect if your partner is cheating is by looking out for changes in his day to day routine and behaviour. If your partner is having an affair it is quite likely that he will start acting differently. This is because we all settle into certain routines when things are regular and normal so it is only natural that if something changes in our lives then things get thrown off course and we start doing things differently. These changes in your husband's routine can be giveaway clues that he's seeing someone else but can be so easily missed.

Have you detected any of the following?
- Has he become short tempered with you or children?
- Does he want to be out more now whereas before he was happy to be at home with you?
- Does he stay awake later a night? This may be so that he can phone, SMS or email 'her' once you've gone to bed or simply in the hope that you'll be asleep before he gets into bed.
- Suspicious cell phone behavior - Has he become possessive of his cell phone? Does he keep it close by whenever you're nearby? Men who cheat use their cell phone to communicate with the other women. Unless they are totally stupid and use their home phone number. Look for him erasing his call logs and messages constantly.
- Does he insist on answering the phone and talks in coded mode if you are around or feels uncomfortable by your presence?
- Has he become more possessive toward his wallet, pocket calendar or briefcase?
- Has he started avoiding you in the home? Doesn't look into your eyes straight?
- Does he go out for longer and more frequent walks?
- No more arguing - Has he become docile when arguments arise? Men do not like confrontation when they are cheating, they will do whatever it takes to avoid any type of heated confrontation.
- Has he lost interest in things he used to be passionate about, say a particular sport or a particular hobby?
- All of a sudden has he starts talking about getting together with old friends he hasn't seen in years and about whom he has never spoken of to you?
- Have you noticed him suddenly being more knowledgeable about women's clothing, perfume or jewelry? If so he could be buying gifts for another woman.
- Has he started to take an interest in something that you know he was never previously bothered about?
- Has he stopped leaving his clothes lying around or started doing any of his own washing, maybe because there are revealing smells or marks on them?
- Has he started encouraging you to go alone to visit parents or friends now a days?
- Has he started attending extended seminars/official/business trips or going on tours he never used to attend and go before with that frequency?
- Did he remember things he had forgotten to do at the office and wants to leave immediately at odd hours?
- Does he forget to wear the wedding ring sometimes?
- Does he make a point of keeping the car/bike free of things belonging to you or the kids?
- Has he has started keeping an overnight bag in his car or office, apparently for a workout?
These signs of a cheating husband appearing now and then may not mean anything in isolation, but if you notice a number of them happening with a pattern, you should take them as a warning signs that there's probably something wrong going on. You must take corrective steps to save your marriage.

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Alcoholic Husband

Alcoholism is a universal phenomenon. Down the centuries, numberless women across the globe have been coping with husbands who come home drunk, bash their wives and children and make everyone's life miserable. However surprisingly most women timidly adjust to their husbands' ways rather than raising their voices in protest. Maybe they have their own difficulties and ways of dealing with the problem but if your alcoholic husband is abusing you then it is time that you put an end to this evil and fight courageously against this addiction and save you and your family.
Guidelines for Helping Your Alcoholic Husband:
- Acquire proper attitude. It is difficult to help people who sense that you despise them and do not care for them and respect them.
- Alcoholism is an addiction to a drug. Therefore willpower is not enough; proper therapies are needed and consult a proper rehabilitation center or counselor.
- Confront your husband with the fact of the disease, and offer a possible solution. Alcoholics never get well unless given a chance.
- Make your alcoholic husband responsible for his actions. Every time you make excuses for him or shielded him, you have just paid for the next drink.
- Use all the alcoholism resources available. It is a complex illness; it needs a network of people to treat it. Take into confidence some of your husband's closest friends (non -drinkers) and ask them to persuade your husband to relinquish the bottle. Most men brush aside the appeal of their wives but pay heed to their friends' advices.
- Never give up hope; never be discouraged. Even if your alcoholic husband does not recover at this time, the seed has been planted. It may bear fruit sometime in the future.
- Alcoholism is a family disease; all family members are affected; all need treatment.
- Do not leave him alone. Always keep supervision on him. Accompany your husband to all parties and gatherings to keep a vigilant eye on him. If he is under supervision he will not to exceed the limits.
- Try to avoid the parties where your husband will be forced to drink by his friends.
- See that your husband's salary directly comes into your bank account so that he shall not have access to money to spend on drinks.
- Try to find the root cause of the problem. Try to have a heart-to-heart talk with him in order to gauge the root cause of his addiction.
- Once the causes are discovered, ways and means could be devised to solve the related problems.